Pelin
@Crylia
wildean
Because we live in a very individualistic society, we focus on what we want and what we deserve, and we can forget the world doesn’t owe us anything. There are billions of people on this Earth and, in the grand scheme of things, you are but a tiny part of the whole.
The other part was a more gradual understanding that nothing is
consistent, and no one is perfect. Everyone is going to disappoint you, even
your parents. Once I accepted that, I stopped expecting I would meet
someone who would save me or make my life easier. I am a fairly
grounded, well-rounded person; I don’t need a hero. If I do meet someone,
he will be a normal human being who is trying to figure out his way
through the world, who is flawed and who will make mistakes, just as I
will.
When it comes to self-love it’s not so much about
loving yourself, but accepting that all human beings have their less
impressive sides, and so your less impressive sides don’t cut you off from
the possibility of having a good relationship. They don’t mean that you’re a
terrible person who doesn’t deserve love. They just mean you are part of the human family.
If you’re alone on a Monday night, for example, you don’t feel
particularly bad about it. You think, I’ve had a hard day at work, there’s a
long week ahead, I’ll spend time on my own. Whereas if you’re alone on a
Saturday night, you can think, what’s wrong with me? Everybody else is
out having a lovely life with other people.
I learnt that the loneliest place of all is lying in bed at night
next to someone who makes you feel small, with your back to theirs, still
hoping they will turn over and put their arms around you.