Büşra Çifci
@bcifci
Moleküler Biyolog
77 okur puanı
Ocak 2019 tarihinde katıldı
Şu anda okuduğu kitaplar
I feel him right there behind me but I know he isn’t. I want to call out to him, to ask him what’s for breakfast. I want to hear the even cadence of his footsteps, the intermittent snap of the newspaper as he reads. All these instincts seem to live so close to the surface that they warp and weave through the fabric of possibility. Maybe he is downstairs, reading. Maybe he is just getting out of the shower.
It’s tiny reminders that hurt, the tiny moments where you think – let me just call out to him. Ah, right. He’s dead. And you wonder how it happened, did it hurt, does he see me here in a sodden, sobbing puddle on his floor?
Reklam
I reel back through all the things that have happened to me since our falling-out, and other than Dad dying, nothing else feels all that significant. It’s as if life was just on hold, I was moving along, getting things done, but not really living. Is that awful, or fantastic? I have no idea.
“ I think of her everywhere. She is everywhere, in every moment, and also she’s in no one moment. She misses every single one of my moments and I’m not sure who that is harder for: me surviving here without her, or her without me, existing wherever she is.”
The Do-Over, Lynn Painter
“Existence is the default. Merely existing, emotionally, is the baseline. Happy is, like, this floating, fluid thing that’s impossible to hold on to as fuck. Sometimes you get lucky and have it, but it’s only a matter of time before it slips back out of your hands.”
Reklam