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Recently, I've been reading some books like
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness
,
My Year of Rest and Relaxation
My Year of Rest and Relaxation
and now
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki
which fall into a perfect category that I can't really describe to. They all have the same root: a woman who is trying to heal, sadness, self-despair, melancholy, suffering but also hope, self-discovery and joy. What feels strange to me that I don't necessarily search for these kind of books, they just come to me out of nowhere. It's almost like they want me to find them and read them. Reading them makes me feel so good, so safe and so like myself. I find myself in every paragraph, every sentence and every word. I don't enjoy seeing other people suffer, but it is comforting to know that I'm not alone in this world. There are women somewhere in the world who feel like me, think like me, suffer like me and heal like me. It is not enough but it is still comforting. Sometimes I let sadness eat me alive. Sometimes I suffer. Sometimes I want to stop existing. However, there are other times that I feel hope, light and contentment. I love these kind of books which remind me everything will be okay.
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat TteokbokkiBaek Sehee · Bloomsbury Publishing · 202253 okunma
“I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is
Reklam
"Thus the capitalism of to-day, which has come to dominate economic life, educates and selects the economic subjects which it needs through a process of economic survival of the fittest"
i declare that later on, even in an age unlike our own, someone will remember who we are.
neither the honey nor the bee for me... 'i want to tell you something but good taste restrains me.' 'if you wanted to express some noble or gorgeous thought - that is, unless your tongue were keen to utter in hot haste some shameful slur, "good taste" would not have dressed your face in red, no, you would have professed whatever you would say upfront and straightaway.'
a ripe red apple grows, the hihgest of them all, over the treetop, way up on a tapering spray, but apple-gatherers never see it - no, rather, they do see it is far away, beyond their reach, impossible. this matter stands just so. a hillside hyacinth shepherds treaded flat, a red bloom in the dust - it is like that. 'maidenhead, maidenhead, where have you gone?' 'i shall never, ever join you again.'
Reklam
you will have memories because of what we did back then when we were new at this, yes, we did many things, then - all beautiful...
some call ships, infantry or horsemen the greatest beauty earth can offer; i say it is whatever a person most lusts after.
but i love extravagance, and wanting it has handed down the glitter and glamour of the sun as my inheritance. i truly do believe no maiden that will live to look upon the brilliance of the sun ever will be contemplative like this one.
moon and the pleiades go down. midnight and tryst pass by. i, though, lie alone.
Reklam
'in all honesty, i want to die.' leaving for good after a good long cry, she said: 'we both have suffered terribly, but, sappho, it is hard to say goodbye.' i said: 'go with my blessing if you go always remembering what we did. to me you have meant everything, as you well know. 'yet, lest it slip your mind, i shall review everything we have shared - the good times, too: 'you culled violets and roses, bloom and stem, often in spring and i looked on as you wove a bouquet into a diadem. 'time and again we plucked lush flowers, wed spray after spray in strands and fastened them around your soft neck; you perfumed your head 'of glossy curls with myrrh - lavish infusions in queenly quantities - then on a bed prepared with fleecy sheets and yielding cushions, 'sated your craving...'
that impossible predator, eros the limb-loosener, bitter-sweetly and afresh savages my flesh. like a gale smiting an oak on mountainous terrain, eros, with a stroke, shattered my brain. but a strange longing to pass on seizes me, and i need to see lotuses on the dewy banks of acheron.
She is a vision, a nightmare, a dream. A grim reaper clad in black, come to steal my soul and my heart. I've never seen something so beautiful, so bold, so blatantly wrong for me. She is a devil. She is a deity. She is a man's downfall in human form. She is my downfall.
I step even closer. She leans in. "I can't take my eyes off you long enough to give a damn about what your foot is doing. So yes, I came to that conclusion on my own." Her gaze is burning, boring into mine, begging me to come closer. So I do. I can't stay away from her. I don't want to stay away from her.
"Thus the final and definitive concept cannot stand at the beginning of the investigation, but must come at the end"
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