252 syf.
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Puan vermedi
Darwin wrote this book in 1872. It's interesting to compare what he wrote about then with what his successor theorists write about today. In contrast to today’s emphasis on universals (e.g., humans are this or not this or that), Darwin notes throughout this book that individuals have a wide variability in physical, emotional, and mental
İnsanın Türeyişi
İnsanın TüreyişiCharles Darwin · Evrensel Basım Yayın · 2015709 okunma
336 syf.
8/10 puan verdi
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5 günde okudu
4/5 Stars (%72/100) This was recommended to me by Kurzgesagt along with Guy Winch's Emotional First Aid. I've read the latter months ago and enjoyed it. In a sense, the two books are similar and both have pros and cons. First, I enjoyed Cacioppo's book but towards the middle, it gets too science-y for me (focusing more on the brain and using a lot of science terms). Yet, he tries to explain it as simple as possible using a lot of examples including visual examples. Second, I found it a bit too long and after some point, it started to look like it is repeating itself. The main idea is clear: Loneliness is underrated and it can hurt us both mentally and physically. The examples were on point. He uses many specific examples from real life people, experts in this area, and even animals. He also shows a lot of pictures and explains them in detail. There are also many tips and tricks to fight loneliness. First, he tries to make people aware that this is a serious issue and then he tries to solve these problems by offering a variety of solutions. In short, I found the book very informative (too informative now and then) and quite enjoyable. There are things that I will definitely consider and apply it to my life. Recommended!
Loneliness
LonelinessJohn Cacioppo · W. W. Norton & Company Publishing · 20093 okunma
Reklam
259 syf.
8/10 puan verdi
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11 günde okudu
4/5 Stars (%75/100) I really liked it and I could say some parts of the book actually made me open my eyes to certain situations in my life. The book was recommended to me by the YouTube channel "Kurzgesagt" and I wanted to check it out and see if it could help me or not. I did not have any expectations as I don't really like reading
Emotional First Aid
Emotional First AidGuy Winch · 20135 okunma
#1 - Social Engineering
In both of the earlier scenarios, not having enough a good enough plan and model will lead to failure. A good way to practice communication modeling is to write out a model for manipulating people you know well—a husband, wife, parent, child, boss, or friend—to do something you want, to take some action you desire. List the following five
Low Self-Esteem Treatment A: Adopt Self Compassion & Silence The Critical Voices In Your Head Low Self-Esteem Treatment B: Identify Your Strengths & Affirm Them Low Self-Esteem Treatment C: Increase Your Tolerance For Compliments Low Self-Esteem Treatment D: Increase Your Personal Empowerment Practice, patience, and persistence are key ingredients in developing personal empowerment. Once we begin speaking up, we will be able to assess our strengths and weaknesses and learn which of our skills and tools still need work. Each setback will also teach us how to devise more effective plans. Low Self-Esteem Treatment E: Improve Your Self Control Exercise: Use your nondominant hand for as many tasks as possible every day between the hours of 8:00a.m. and 6:00p.m. for four to eight weeks.
Most of us only put in as much effort as a situation requires from us. If we can "get away" with being less considerate or less reciprocal, and various other forms of "getting without giving", many of us will, not because we're evil, but simply because we can. If people demanded or expected more of us we would do more, but when they don't, we don't make the effort. This dynamic is true in practically every relationship we have. When our self-esteem is low and we expect very little of others, we are likely to get very little from them as well. Changing this dynamic once a relationship is already established is difficult because we're in essence "changing the terms of the deal" after the other person has already been operating under a specific set of assumptions and expectations. That is why it is crucial to pay great attention to the expectations we set up when our friendships and romantic relationships first begin.
Reklam
Failure Treatment A: Get Support & Get Real Failure Treatment B: Focus On Factors In Your Control Failure Treatment C: Take Responsibility and Own The Fear
Rumination Treatment A: Change Your Perspective (self immersed perspective x self distanced perspective) Rumination Treatment B: Distract Yourself From Emotional Pain (suppression x distraction) Rumination Treatment C: Reframe The Anger Rumination Treatment D: Go Easy On Your Friends
Intense ruminations can often make us so focused on our own emotional needs that we become blind to those of the people around us and our relationships often suffer as a result.
Ruminating on our problems and feelings scratches at our emotional scabs and causes four primary psychological wounds: it intensifies our sadness and allows it to persist for far longer than it might have otherwise; likewise, it intensifies and prolongs our anger; it hogs substantial amounts of emotional and intellectual resources, inhibiting motivation, initiative, and our ability to focus and think productively; and our need to discuss the same events or feelings repeatedly for weeks, months, and sometimes years on end taxes the patience and compassion of our social support systems and puts our relationships at risk.
Reklam
Guilt Treatment A: Learn the Recipe for an Effective Apology Most of us conceive of apologies as including three basic ingredients: (1) a statement of regret for what happened; (2) a clear "I'm sorry" statement; and (3) a request for forgiveness -all of which must be delivered with sincerity. (...) Scientists have discovered three additional components that also play a vital role in an apology's effectiveness: validating the other person's feelings, offering atonement, and acknowledging we violated expectations. How to Offer Authentic Emotional Validation 1-Let the other person complete his or her narrative about what happened so you have all the facts. 2-Convey your understanding of what happened to this person from his or her perspective (whether you agree with that perspective or not and even if that perspective is obviously skewed). 3-Convey your understanding of how the person felt as a result of what happened (from his or her perspective). 4-Acknowledge that his or her feelings are reasonable (which, given that person's perspective, they are). 5-Convey empathy and remorse for the person's emotional state. Although it might not always be relevant, necessary, or possible to do so, making offers to compensate or atone for our actions in some way can be extremely meaningful to the offended party, even if he or she turns down the offers we make. Guilt Treatment B: Forgive Yourself Guilt Treatment C: Reengage in Life
Loss and Trauma Treatment A: Soothe Your Emotional Pain Your Way Loss and Trauma Treatment B: Recover Lost Aspects of Your "Self" 1. List your qualities, characteristics, and abilities that you valued in yourself or that others valued about you before the events occurred (aim for at least ten items). 2. Which of the above items feel most disconnected from your life today or tend to be expressed less today than they had been previously? 3. For each quality you listed, write a brief paragraph describing why you feel disconnected from the attribute in question or why the quality is no longer expressed as extensively as it had been previously. 4. For each quality you listed, write a brief paragraph describing possible people, activities, or outlets you could pursue that would allow you to express the quality in a more substantial way than you are able to do currently. 5. Rank the items from the previous question according to which of them seem both doable and emotionally manageable. 6. Set yourself the goal of working through the list as best you can and at whatever pace seems most comfortable. Loss and Trauma Treatment C: Find Meaning in Tragedy 1-I never imagined back then that such tragic events would lead me to: 2-What I did was significant and very meaningful to me because: 3-The first step of my journey toward the achievement was when I: 4-My achievement was possible because I changed my priorities such that: 5-Changing my priorities led me to make the following changes in my life: 6-Along the way I realized my purpose in life is:
Loss and trauma often force a new reality on our lives that, depending on the severity of the events we've experienced, can completely redefine our identities as well as the narrative of our life stories.
Loneliness Treatment E: Create Opportunities for Social Connection The best way to overcome feelings of vulnerability, reduce our hesitancy, and avoid being labeled as lonely is to approach situations with a larger goal in mind. (...) By having an additional agenda, we come across not as someone who is lonely, but as someone who is passionate about our hobby, devoted to our goals, or serious about our creative endeavors. Loneliness Treatment F: Adopt a Best Friend
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