Nikolai's arms wrap around my back to fuse us closer, but he doesn't rush it, doesn't turn it into a lustful frenzy like we're used to.
Maybe it's because he, too, knows this isn't about lust anymore. It stopped being about lust a long time ago.
For me, it was never about lust. I was drawn to him, which is why I wanted him. It wasn't the other way around.