esra
@hamarti4
Those moments, when intuitions remain unspoken and unspeakable, are only part of life. There are other parts of life to be lived. A mother’s job is to provide a framework for living: things to do, places to go, days that never fail to break, and nights that always fall.
Life does not guarantee that time has the capacity to carry us. Time flies, time is fleeting, but then there comes a moment when time, no longer nimble-footed, no longer winged, is for us to carry.
The second time around I knew neither to battle life nor to battle death: in both endeavors, there would be unlimited exhaustion and very little to gain.
However, I do believe that we learn to suffer better. We become more discerning in our suffering: there are things that are worth suffering for, and then there is the rest—minor suffering and inessential pain—that is but pebbles, which can be ignored or kicked aside. We also become less rigid: suffering suffuses one’s being; one no longer resists.
Children die, and they are not happy.
And their parents can never know if those children died because they were not happy, or they were not happy because they sensed, too early, that they must face their own deaths.