'' Question for you, Neil. Do I look dead to you?" He pointed up at his face, waited for Neil to answer, and didn't seem surprised when Neil didn't. "Here."
Andrew beckoned Neil closer as if he wanted to show Neil something on his phone's small screen. He flipped the phone open one-handed and pressed down hard on a single button. There was silence, then the distant hum of Andrew's phone dialing out. Between them Neil's phone started to sing. The words were different than Andrew's ringtone, but the voice was the same. Neil knew it was from the same miserable song. The lyrics hurt just as much as Andrew's had. Neil stared down at the phone and let it ring.
"Your phone is ringing," Andrew said. "You should answer it."
Neil picked it up with numb fingers and opened it. He spared only a second to look at Andrew's name on the screen before he answered and put it to his ear.
"Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," Andrew said. "This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.
"I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "On that day you're not going to run. You're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call. Tell me you understand."
ULAN ANDREW ULAN ANDREW
''Your phone is ringing,'' Andrew said. ''You should answer it.''
Neil picked it up with numb fingers and opened it. He spared only a second to look at Andrew's name on the screen before he answered and put it to his ear.
''Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay,'' Andrew said.
''This is not news to you. But from now on until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.
“I laugh, and it's laughter, not light, that casts out the darkness building within me, that reminds me I am still alive, even in this strange place where everything I've ever known is coming apart.”
Museum
Here are plates but no appetite.
And wedding rings, but the requited love
has been gone now for some three hundred years.
Here’s a fan—where is the maiden’s blush?
Here are swords—where is the ire?
Nor will the lute sound at the twilight hour.
Since eternity was out of stock,
ten thousand aging things have been amassed instead.
The moss-grown guard in golden slumber
props his moustache on the Exhibit Number . . .
Eight. Metals, clay, and feathers celebrate
their silent triumphs over dates.
Only some Egyptian flapper’s silly hairpin giggles.
The crown has outlasted the head.
The hand has lost out to the glove.
The right shoe has defeated the foot.
As for me, I am still alive, you see.
The battle with my dress still rages on.
It struggles, foolish thing, so stubbornly!
Determined to keep living when I’m gone!
believe them when they say
you are nothing
repeat it to yourself
like a wish
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
so often
the only reason you know
you’re still alive is from the
heaving of your chest
Sayfa 29
"Still
Alive
Regrettably"
e-kitap olarak okuyorum.
Only dead people are allowed to have statues, but I have been given one while still alive. Already I am petrified.
Sayfa 3Kitabı okuyacak
"your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," andrew said. "this is not news to you. but from now until may you are still neil josten and i am still the man who said he would keep you alive.
"i don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. i don't care if you never use it again. but you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." andrew put a finger to the underside of neil's chin and forced neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "on that day you're not going to run. you're going to think about what i promised you and you're going to make the call. tell me you understand."
Sayfa 117
EN:When I cry or lose or bruise, so long as I am still alive, nothing is ultimate. So long as there is still a tomorrow, a next moment, there is hope, there is change, and there is redemption. What is lost is not lost forever.
TR:Ağladığımda, kaybettiğimde veya morardığımda, hala hayatta olduğum sürece hiçbir şey kesin değildir. Hala bir yarın, bir sonraki an olduğu sürece umut vardır, değişim vardır ve kurtuluş vardır. Kaybedilen sonsuza dek kaybolmaz.
the art of being empty
is simple
believe them when they say
you are nothing
repeat it to yourself
like a wish
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
so often
the only reason you know
you’re still alive is from the
heaving of your chest
emptying out of my mother’s belly
was my first act of disappearance
learning to shrink for a family
who likes their daughters invisible
was the second
the art of being empty
is simple
believe them when they say
you are nothing
repeat it to yourself
like a wish
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
so often
the only reason you know
you’re still alive is from the
heaving of your chest
- the art of being empty
Sayfa 30
you are nothing
repeat it to yourself
like a wish
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
so often
the only reason you know
you’re still alive is from the
heaving of your chest