Art of Loving
Erich FrommArt of Loving Sözleri ve Alıntıları
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En büyük pişmanlıklardan biri de
kıymet bilmeyen birisi için göze aldığın fedakarlıktır.
It is hardly necessary to stress the fact that the ability to love as an act of giving depends on the character development of the person. It presupposes the attainment of a predominantly productive orientation; in this orientation the person has overcome dependency, narcissistic omnipotence, the wish to exploit others, or to hoard, and has acquired faith in his own human powers, courage to rely on his powers in the attainment of his goals... certain basic elements, common to all forms of love. These are care, responsibility, respect and knowledge.
Die beiden Menschen lernen einander immer besser kennen, und dabei verliert ihre Vertrautheit immer mehr den geheimnisvollen Charakter, bis ihr Streit, ihre Enttauschungen, ihre gegenseitige Langeweile die anfangliche Begeisterung getötet haben.
Modern man thinks he loses something - time - when he does not do things quickly. Yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains, except kill it.
Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
Birini sevmek sadece güçlü bir duygu değildir -
bu bir karardır, bu bir hükümdür, bu bir sözdür.
Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision
Unconditional love corresponds to one of the deepest longings.
In erotic love, two people who were separate become one. In motherly love, two people who were on become separate.
Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice.
He who knows nothing, loves nothing. He who can do nothing understands nothing. He who understands nothing is worthless. But he who understands also loves, notices, sees... The more knowledge is inherent in a thing, the greater the love... Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberries knows nothing about grapes. - paracelsus
mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality. Love is an active power in man... Love makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separateness, yet it permits him to be himself, to retain his integrity.
Real conflicts between two people, those which do not serve to cover up or to project, but which are experienced on the deep level of inner reality to which they belong, are not destructive... Love is possible only if two persons communicate with each other from the center of their existence. Only in this "central experience" is human reality, only here is aliveness.
To take the difficulties, setbacks and sorrows of life as a challenge which to overcome makes us stronger, rather than as unjust punishment which should not happen to us, requires faith and courage.
Modern man is alienated from himself, from his fellow men, and from nature. He has been transformed into a commodity, experiences his life forces as an investment which must bring him the maximum profit obtainable under existing market conditions... The world is one great object for our appetite, a big apple, a big bottle, a big breast; we are the sucklers, the eternally expectant ones, the hopeful ones - and the eternally disappointed ones.
Ich möchte den Leser davon überzeugen, daß alle seine Versuche zu lieben fehlschlagen müssen, sofern er nicht aktiv versuchti seine ganze Persönlichkeit zu entwickeln.