Keskin Şeyler
Gillian FlynnKeskin Şeyler Posts
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Everyone has a moment where life goes off the rails.
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“I don’t know that anything would be any good anywhere, so it’s hard to gauge if this is better or worse, you know what I mean?”
“Like: This place is miserable and I want to die, but I can’t think of any place I’d rather be,”
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do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait?
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My skin was screaming, my ears banged with my heartbeat. I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around myself, and wept.
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I walked into the kitchen, to the cutlery drawer. I wanted to just look at the knives I once used on myself. I wasn’t going to cut, just allow myself that sharp pressure. I could already feel the knifepoint gently pressing against the plump pads of my fingertips, that delicate tension right before the cut.
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Sometimes I think I won’t ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. Three more days to get through until I don’t have to worry about life anymore.
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I wished I could stop trying.
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All I know is that the cutting made me feel safe. It was proof. Thoughts and words, captured where I could see them and track them. The truth, stinging, on my skin, in a freakish shorthand.
Sayfa 67Kitabı okudu
I drink so I don’t think too much about what I’ve done to my body and so I don’t do any more. Yet most of the time that I’m awake, I want to cut.
Sayfa 67Kitabı okudu
The problem started long before that, of course. Problems always start long before you really, really see them.
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