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You can treat a child only in the way you yourself are constituted, with vigor, noise, and hot
temper, and in this case such behavior seemed to you to be also most appropriate because you wanted to bring me up to
be a strong, brave boy.
“It is, after all, not necessary to fly right into the middle of the sun, but it is necessary to crawl to a clean little spot on Earth where the sun sometimes shines and one can warm oneself a little.”
But I want to get closer to an explanation. My desire to be married forcibly unites two seemingly contradictory things that shape my relationship with you. Marriage guarantees the highest liberation and independence. I would have a family, which I believe is the best a man can achieve – it is the best that you have achieved – and I would be your equal, my shame and your tyranny would be at an end. It would be just like a fairy story; so hard to believe. It is too much; so it can’t happen. It is as if a prisoner wanted not only to escape from his prison (which perhaps could be done) but also to convert his prison into a holiday camp for himself. If he runs away he can’t re-build it, and if he re-builds it he can’t run away. And I stand in an especially unfortunate relationship with you, for to be independent I must be nothing like you, yet marriage is the best form of independence, but if I were married I would be closer to you. To try and solve this is madness, and whenever I try I become a little more mad.