My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness
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By the way-- when it comes to free hugs, gender doesn't matter for me. But for anything more than that, I'd only pursue it with a woman. And the reason behind that... was that I didn't want to accept that I was a woman. It wasn't that I want to be a man: it was like I hated belonging to a gender at all. I was excessively afraid being defined as a woman before I was seen as myself. Plus, I was more sexsually interested in women's bodies than men's .
"Because I can remember what it felt like to appreciate life, I don't want to be a disaster -- for my own sake."
I want to love myself. I want to be able to understand my own feelings!!
Everything other than my reaction was like an erotic doujinshi.
I realized that the reason I had trouble meeting people was my compulsion to try to make myself look better.
Up until then, I'd never understood how people could just keep on living.