The Sun and Her Flowers
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i hardened under the last loss. it took something human out of me. i used to be so deeply emotional i’d crumble on demand. but now the water has made its exit. of course i care about the ones around me. i’m just struggling to show it. a wall is getting in the way. i used to dream of being so strong nothing could shake me. now. i am. so strong. that nothing shakes me.
and all i dream is to soften.
- numbness
in order to fall asleep
i have to imagine your body
crooked behind mine
spoon ladled into spoon
till i can hear your breath
i have to recite your name
till you answer and
we have a conversation
only then
can my mind
drift off to sleep
- pretend
in a dream
i saw my mother
with the love of her life
and no children
it was the happiest i'd ever seen her
-what if
i could be anything
in the world
but i wanted to be his
it isn’t what we left behind
that breaks me
it’s what we could’ve built
had we stayed