When Reason Breaks
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I was the slightest in the House –
I took the smallest Room –
At night, my little Lamp, and Book –
And one Geranium –
So stationed I could catch the Mint
That never ceased to fall –
And just my Basket –
Let me think –
I’m sure
That this was all –
I never spoke – unless addressed –
And then, ’twas brief and low –
I could not bear to live – aloud –
The Racket shamed me so –
And if it had not been so far –
And any one I knew Were going –
I had often thought
How noteless –
I could die –
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So what did you wish for? I ask.
To be complete again.
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I read Dickinson’s poem “The Soul has Bandaged moments –” and it made me think. A bandage covers a wound and helps it to heal, but it also masks the hurt. And if the broken part of you is bound too long or too tightly, doesn’t it make everything worse? At some point, don’t you have to rip off the bandage, expose the wound, and deal with the pain? So whether you’re injured or healing, it hurts . I guess numb isn’t so bad, then, because I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to hurt anyone else, either. I hope you understand now that I cared and tried to fight the monster inside me, but it won.
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