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0 üyeListening in bed, in the lee of mountain crags, in a wood at daybreak; with an arm clasping his waist or a head thrown back on his shoulder, trying to silence his noisy heart, Hephaistion understood he was being told everything. With pride and awe, with tenderness, torment and guilt, he lost the thread, and fought with himself, and caught the drift again to find something gone past recall. Bewildering treasures were being poured into his hands and slipping through his fingers, while his mind wandered to the blinding trifle of his own desire. At any moment he would be asked what he thought; he was valued as more than a listener. Knowing this he would attend again, and be caught up even against his will; Alexander could transmit imagination as some other could transmit lust.
Sayfa 303 - Vintage Books – March, 1977Kitabı okudu
Alexander came swiftly over, struck with remorse at having forgotten. "In our souls," he said, "we'll be more than ever united, winning eternal fame. Son of Menitios, great one, you who delight my heart." He smiled deeply into Hephaistion's eyes, which faithfully smiled back. "Love is the true food of the soul. But the soul eats to live, like the body, it mustn't live to eat."
"No," said Hephaistion. What he lived for was his own business, part of which was that Alexander should not be burdened with it.
"The soul must live to do."
Hephaistion put aside the sword, took up the dagger with its dolphin hilts and agate pommel, and agreed that this was so.
Sayfa 260 - Vintage Books – March, 1977Kitabı okudu
"All these knocks we get when we're young, that's how we learn to bear our wounds, when we go to war. Look. Move over. Look what I got, the first time I fought the Illyrians."
He pulled back the kilt of scarlet wool from his thigh, and showed the long ridged scar, with a pit where the spearhead had plowed through almost to the bone. The boy gazed with respect, and felt it with his finger.
"Well," said Agis, covering it again, "that hurt, you can guess. And what kept me from yelling out, and being shamed before the Companions? My father's clips on the ear. The fellow who gave me that never lived to boast of it. My first man, he was. When I showed my father his head, he gave me my sword belt, offered up my boy's girdle-cord, and feasted all our kindred."
Sayfa 19 - Vintage Books – March, 1977Kitabı okudu
"That's not the end, Sokrates ends it. He says the best, the greatest love can only be made by the soul."
"Well," said Hephaistion quickly, "but everyone knows he was the ugliest man in Athens."
"The beautiful Alkibiades threw himself at his head. But he said that to make love with the soul was the greatest victory, like the triple crown at the games."
Hephaistion stared out in pain to the mountains of Chalkidike. "It would be the greatest victory," he said slowly, "to the one who minded most." Knowing that in the service of a ruthless god he had baited his trap with knowledge gained in love, he turned to Alexander. He stood staring out at the clouds, in solitude, conferring with his diamon.
Guilt-troubled, Hephaistion reached out and grasped his arm. "If you mean that, if it's what you really
want..."
He raised his brows, smiled, and tossed back his hair. "I'll tell you something."
"Yes?"
"If you can catch me."
Sayfa 255 - Vintage Books – March, 1977Kitabı okudu
Alexander came in. His eyes looked hollow, but full of a feverish exaltation. He walked over, put out his hand and touched Hephaistion, as a man might touch a sacred object for luck or a good omen, while deeply concerned with something else. Hephaistion looked, and was silent.
Sayfa 433 - Vintage Books – March, 1977Kitabı okudu
He had cried easily at old war-songs where sworn comrades died together, at a fallen cadence of the flute. He had cried half a day, when his dog fell sick and died. Already he knew what it was to mourn the fallen; for Agis he wept his heart out. But to cry for his own wounds would make Herakles forsake him. This had long been a part of their secret compact.
Sayfa 53 - Vintage Books – March, 1977Kitabı okudu