in melancholia,there's an anger towards that person for not actually giving them the understanding that they needed. which results in turning against one's self.
...
in melancholia,there's a confusion about what that relationship meant,so you can't displace it somewhere else,cuz you simply don't know.
there's a desire to command that lost object, to make it yours and put it under your control. (narcissistic)
so you have to move beyond the abject, recognize the object is no longer valuable to you. let lit leave.
or understand what it all meant. so that you can finally move onto mourning.