Chapter Seventeen
“I’m sorry.” His face darkened with sincerity. “I know I didn’t have a right to talk about you like a trophy to be won from your father. And I’m sorry for warning Mr. Hobson to keep his son away from you.” He smiled tightly. “I would say I did that for your benefit, but really, I did it for me.” His eyes fell on my chest. “I don’t do well with competition.”
eheheh Penn, neden bu kadar hoşsun?
Guilt Treatment A: Learn the Recipe for an Effective Apology
Most of us conceive of apologies as including three basic ingredients: (1) a statement of regret for what happened; (2) a clear "I'm sorry" statement; and (3) a request for forgiveness -all of which must be delivered with sincerity. (...) Scientists have discovered three additional components that also play a vital role in an apology's effectiveness: validating the other person's feelings, offering atonement, and acknowledging we violated expectations.
How to Offer Authentic Emotional Validation
1-Let the other person complete his or her narrative about what happened so you have all the facts.
2-Convey your understanding of what happened to this person from his or her perspective (whether you agree with that perspective or not and even if that perspective is obviously skewed).
3-Convey your understanding of how the person felt as a result of what happened (from his or her perspective).
4-Acknowledge that his or her feelings are reasonable (which, given that person's perspective, they are).
5-Convey empathy and remorse for the person's emotional state.
Although it might not always be relevant, necessary, or possible to do so, making offers to compensate or atone for our actions in some way can be extremely meaningful to the offended party, even if he or she turns down the offers we make.
Guilt Treatment B: Forgive Yourself
Guilt Treatment C: Reengage in Life
chapter twelve *Pimlico*
“You came back.”
“Of course, I did. I wouldn’t leave you.” I filled my voice with sincerity. “Ever.”
His gaze widened, drenched with tiredness and healing but dark with hunger and lust. “Even if you hadn’t just given me your word to never leave me, I would never be capable of letting you go, Tasmin.” He swallowed as his voice thickened. “You’re stuck with me. For however long my stupid heart keeps me alive.”
“Your heart isn’t stupid.” Goosebumps scattered over my arms as I dropped my eyes. “It’s perfect.”
“You’re right. It isn’t stupid.” He reached for me, linking his fingers with mine. “It chose you.”
Sayfa 128 - ah ulan.
I say a that a man may as soon make a friend by his wit, or a fortune by his honesty, as win a woman with plain-dealing and sincerity.
Act 2 Scene 6Kitabı okudu
The Persuader’s Game
The persuader has a double status. He is the speaker-sophist who convinces through equivocal and ambiguous speech rather than through answers and evidence. He also builds myths, using dreams and Utopia as costumes and scenery in the theatre of collective illusion.
He founds his art not on reason and logic but on affect and feelings. He does not prove: he provokes; he does not give answers: he upsets. He constantly violates the social and tacit pact of true communication: an assumption of sincerity and truth. His entire discourse is intended to mask his intention to indoctrinate. He has to present lies and deceptions as reality. He puts on a continuous show, a fable that drives out reality, gradually invading the space of communication. The goal is to get others to go along. This is the first real stage of handling. At the earliest stages, the persuader overcomes the momentary reserves of his interlocutor without breaking the established relation and, if necessary, will back off, in order to try again later.
Sayfa 103Kitabı okudu
The Persuader’s Game
The techniques of persuasive communication have been written extensively, mostly with the intention of helping advertising, marketing and publicity specialists. Here some of the “tricks” described in these works, used by cult recruiters:
* Force sympathy
* Hide your moods and ignore of those of the others
* Give the other person the impression that you are interested in him
* Look people in the eye
* Talk with your mouth, i.e. externalize your speech and don’t stay lock up in yourself
* Get people on your side by talking about the subjects that interest them, and especially about themselves
* Give the illusion of sincerity by having your speech coincide as often as possible with that of your interlocutor
* Always carry out the ball, but know when to break off if you encounter too strong a resistance
* Never defend, always attack, never doubt
* Keep catching the person’s attention with new tricks
* Always suggest two possibilities, in order to get agreement on at least one
* Always be attractive; dominate without showing it.
Sayfa 103Kitabı okudu