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idk maybe this is a part of 'maturity' or a stage of 'adulthood'. It is strange that missing memories that never happened before feelings never felt before and have no a single reason. We may not know the source of those 'things' and where they are come from while trying to find a escape door but all of them is locked an missing. Nobody can find that key expect me or whoever you are and that path has so many struggles that feel like has no end as well.
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