Naz
@Nazdetass
I love reading and searching more than you!
English language and literature...
Şu anda okuduğu kitaplar
First of all, I don't get angry at anyone for no reason or want to break their heart because, as my grandmother said, breaking a heart is like destroying the most sacred place. Unfortunately or fortunately, I do not know the feeling of hate because I have loved all my life, but I did not hate anyone who made me angry and harmed us. I always felt neutral. I neither loved nor hated. I think this is the worst thing because even hate is a feeling. I tried to explain myself, but constant conflicts arose as I tried to explain myself, and suddenly I found myself and my feelings in a great paradox. I was constantly confused and I wasn't sure about myself and you about love because you were in a hot and cold mood... (Normally, this is useful for connecting people to ourselves, but this is a very different system)
Maybe you will read these, maybe you won't, I don't know, but I just wanted to share my last feelings for you... On August I found you on Instagram when you commented on a page and I clicked on your profile and then I stalked you and I sent you a direct message because your aura was attractive. This happened randomly and carelessly because I thought you wouldn't reply to the message, but when you replied, it caught my attention and I felt like something was going to happen between us. I had to introduce myself to you because of that feeling... The conversation started, but I was in such a deep depression that I was never sure if I could have feelings for you. You know what's ironic? The night before I met you, I said something at the dinner table. I told the people at dinner that I want someone who understands me and can have deep conversations with me, and the very next day I met you, I think God heard my voice because it happened so fast.
When I met you, I said to
And I don't care if I don't look pretty
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking...
Birlikte kusmak kadar insanları birbirine yakınlaştıran bir şey yoktur.”
Sylvia Plath
Sylvia PlathPek iyi hissetmiyorum bu aralar... Çaresizlik mi desem yarım kalmışlık mı bilmiyorum. İçimde fırtına koparan birkaç mesele var, çözmek istesem imkanı yok düşünsem üstüne kendime zarar biliyorum. Ah çaresizlik... Size bu kavramın ne kadar zor olduğunu anlatamam çünkü anlatmaya çalışsam bile çaresiz hissediyorum kendimi, böyle bir his bu. Kendimle yüzleşmem gereken konular var, belki de o yüzdendir bu yarım kalmışlık... Hissedemiyorum, yapamıyorum çünkü beynimin tam merkezinde bir sandalye varmış gibi ve biriniz oturmuşsunuz oraya, sürekli onu kontrol ediyorsunuz hiç durmadan. Rahat bırakın beni artık... incittiniz, kırdınız ve çiğnediniz o kalbimi, öyleyse neden neden sürekli aynı şeylerle kafamın içinde dönme dolap gibi dönmek zorundasınız? Ben bu oyunu oynamaktan vazgeçtim, ruhumu ve aklımı terkedin artık lütfen... Ama ben ben sizi gerçekten sevdim, bunu da unutmayın olur mu?