Professionally Woke Insecure Boys
I am very vigilant about excluding these kinds of men from my life. One strategy for doing this is rolling my eyes. Men hate this very much and are constantly telling me to stop. It’s like that Margaret Atwood quote that men are afraid women will laugh at them, and women are afraid men will kill them: men hate when I roll my eyes at them, and I hate when men take away my structural power and my reproductive agency.
AND YET.
Even the “good” men who I hang out with, men who have never told me that Bernie would have won if he had been the Democratic candidate, tell me all the time that they could never be with women who are more professionally successful than they are.
For the longest while, I thought that these by most accounts “woke” boys were just quirkily insecure. Like, oh, that’s just Jon, he believes brand-name deodorant will kill you and can’t be with a woman who is more successful than he is. Or, oh, Floyd, his thing is that he still rides a hoverboard even though it’s illegal now and also he’s terrified of being with a woman who has a good job. I also wondered if Jon and Floyd were generally fine with the idea of a motivated woman but had been scared off of it by personal contact with me, an ambitious five-hundred-year-old hag who maintains the appearance of a hot twenty-seven-year-old by feeding on the misdeeds of men and turning them into New Yorker pieces. And I also realized—not to put too fine a point on it—that men who say they can’t be with more successful women are not being quirkily insecure; they are being straight-up sexist. Professionally Insecure Woke Boys are policing women into not being too ambitious. There are already so many obstacles to women advancing in the workplace—there’s the pay gap, there are old boys’ clubs that give men connections that women have no access to, there are the people who for some reason think I need to brush my hair a couple times a month to look “professional”—the list goes on. But even if a woman advances professionally against all odds, she then gets punished by losing access to “that sweet D” (romantic love).
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