mendel.
@gregorofcrows
“Dünya, yeteneklerini zorlayacak bilinmezliklerle doludur.”
Moleküler Bio ve Gen, Psikoloji
İstanbul
159 okur puanı
Temmuz 2024 tarihinde katıldı
Şu anda okuduğu kitaplar
Never once had he blown out his birthday candles or glimpsed a star arcing across the night sky without wringing the words through his mind: I wish I was thin.
Reklam
he’d daydreamed of taking a knife and shearing the fat off his body. He’d fantasized about being impaled with tubes and having the excess sucked out of him, being pricked with needles and drained like a blister.
The never-ending humiliation and degradation, that was real.
The feeling of being trapped inside his own body, inside his own life: that was as real as it fucking came.
He’s full, but the Hunger remains. Always. The need to gorge, as sharp and primal as fear. A rampant desire that only the threat of sickness can sate.
Sure, I felt weak and nauseous pretty much all the time; my skin was cracked and washed out; and even resting, my heart fluttered in uneven bursts, like a stray pigeon trapped inside my chest. But I was dropping weight so fast I didn’t care, each successful weigh-in encouraging me to keep going, push harder, embrace the hunger. Feel the burn. Those words became my mantra, and I lived by them.
Reklam