Dear Evan Hansen
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I had replayed our last day together so many times. He wanted to see me. But there were parts too dark to show. Parts he wouldn't like. Parts that would send him running. If anything I was only avoiding the inevitable. He would have left me if I didn't leave first.
Sayfa 323
Jared is being horribly honest
Evan texts -"it is important for Connor"
Jared answers- "It is interesting you say that. Because, when you really stop and think about it, Connor being dead is pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to you isn't it ?"
Even for Jared, that's a horrible thing to think, let alone speak aloud. "Why would you say that? "
"Well think about it," Jared says."People at school actually talk to you now. You're almost popular, which is, like, miracle of miracles. If Connor hadn't die, you think that guy just now would 've known your name?He wouldn't have. No one would."
That's true.I can't deny it.
"I don't care if people at school know who i am. I don't care about any of that. All I ever wanted was to help the Murphys."
"Help the Murphys," Jared repeats, like its a company slogan."You keep saying that."
Sayfa 273 - kısaltılmıştır.
oww evan. no.
Im so tired of walking this tightrope. Sometimes it just requires too much. I ve been longing for the safety of solid ground. I could end it - right here and now.
But then where will i be ? Everything else will end, too. Everything i have with the Murphys will be gone. My mom will make me tell them the truth. They will hate me. They wont understand what i was trying to do, that i was only trying to help.
No thats not what i want.
Sayfa 243
Jared says
"You re right, Evan.I mean ,what was i thinking, just making things up in a completely fabricated email exchange that never happened ? "
Sayfa 230
The small comfort i get from this brief death fantasy is outsized by my guilt. I shouldnt be daring mortality. Connor Murphy is actually dead, and i m sitting here pretending like i want to be. I dont want to be dead.I m finally sure of t hat. I just wished that life, for once, go smoothly. I can never sit back and sail. People like Rox can put their feet up and let the water carry them along.Not me. I m constantly on the verge of sinking.
Sayfa 168
Connor is being the villian
Everyone in school knew about the printer(a story that Connor throwed the printer to his teacher Mrs G.).It became this thing that followed me around.The logline to my movie, telling people what to expect of me.Telling me what to expect of myself. I was the villian. That was my role.And Mrs G. was the victim.And for years, that has been our story.But it demands a correction.She made a mistake.And so did i.
Sayfa 84
Still, i cant catch my breath as i walk up the concrete path and through the metal doors of school. What sort of dark suprise waits me on the other side ?
Sayfa 41
What's wrong with hiding ? At least its safe.
Sayfa 26
.
Keşke her şey farklı olsaydı. Keşke bir şeyin parçası olsaydım. Keşke söylediğim her şey herkes için önemli olsaydı. Demek istediğim, kabul edelim: yarın ortadan kaybolduğumu kimse fark eder mi ?
...
"Sevgili Evan Hansen"