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I don't act to make people happy. I act for me. If it makes people feel anything, that's their business. I won't love anyone. If someone loves me, they won't get anything back. They only people who should fall for me are the ones who are okay with that. They can take that any way they want. To me acting is revenge.
Lies might turn true. When I heard that, I decided to become an idol. I wanted to love somebody. I wanted somebody to love. I thought if I were an idol, I'd be able to love my fans. I wanted to say "I love you" and truly mean it so I've said it as a lie to all sorts of people. I though if I was a mother, I'd be able to love my kids. I still haven't told them "I love you". I'm scared to. What if once I say it, I realize it's not true? So here I am, telling lies again, believing they'll turn true. Even if I end up paying for it someday...
You've said a lot here... But I suspect you actually want to love people. You just don't know how and you haven't found somebody to practice with it. If you sing and dance and look cute... That's a show of affection for your fans, all by itself. If you're an idol, "I love you" will come up in your song lyrics all the time. Besides, while you're saying you love everybody it may turn into the truth.
Pretty lies are what the audience wants anyway. Being able to lie is a talent. So why not? Go ahead, lie your heart out. Even if I'm lying, it's okay to say, "I love you"?
The thing is, I don't remember loving anybody or being loved. There's no way someone like that could be an idol.
If you fear falling, you'll fall harder.