lotty

“that, in and of itself, is awfully cynical, don’t you think? divorce is loss.” evelyn shakes her head. “heartbreak is loss. divorce is a piece of paper.”
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she took my hands off my face and looked at me. “i don’t know what i’m doing,” i said. “it’s okay,” she said. “i do.”
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sometimes reality comes crashing down on you. other times reality simply waits, patiently, for you to run out of the energy it takes to deny it.
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some mornings i would wake up in a pile of her hair and inhale deeply, trying to breathe in as much of her as i could.
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we did not kiss. we occasionally lingered a little too long when our arms brushed, when our hands touched, never locking eyes. but in the middle of the night, after we both had appeared to fall asleep, i would feel her body against my back and i would push myself into her, feeling the warmth of her stomach against me, her chin in the crook of my neck.
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