Passenger
Gülümseyerek, uçar gibi, tasasızca yürüyor, hiçbir şey düşünmüyor ve çevresinde gülümseyen her şeye uyarak o da gülümsüyordu.
"Fuck that. If you weren't here, I would've introduced that bunch of Heathens to my special brand of fucked up."
"And get yourself killed?"
"Will you cry at my funeral?"
"Lan! Don't joke about nonsense like that."
"But I want to know. Will you?"
I sigh as I help him into the passenger seat.
"You're my twin brother."
And?" He looks at me expectantly, like a fucking hyena who's waiting to pounce on its prey. Or maybe it's just expectation and I'm reading too much into it.
"And that means I wouldn't be the same without you. Not that you share the sentiment." I start to close the door, but he shoves his foot against it, keeping it open.
"You know, that's your problem, Bran. You always assume things about me instead of fucking talking to me. It's a nasty habit that needs to go." He holds my gaze with his identical one. "I wouldn't be the same without you, either, twat. You're part of me."
I had to (and still do, regularly) go through a period of sitting in toxic bullshit, abandoning old versions of myself, shedding skins and experiencing this uncomfortable transition to be the person I am today –feeling confident enough in myself and my voice to write this book, speak my mind and vocalize my experiences. Growth can feel isolating. Everything you thought you knew about yourself and the world shifts right before your eyes. You’ll start to notice unhealthy and toxic qualities in your friends, as well as yourself. You’ll stop enjoying your once- favourite movies when you realize they portray women as nothing more than a feast for male eyes and desires. The lyrics to your favourite Rolling Stones song start to ring a little problematic, and you’ll be disgusted to discover that sexism, racism, ableism and transphobia exist in almost every environment, including the depths of your own subconscious mind. A shift in perspective has the power to flip the world as you know it upside down. But wouldn’t you rather see the world clearly, than walk through life oblivious to all that you are complicit in and enabling? Don’t be a passenger in your own life. Having your world turned upside down and experiencing temporary discomfort is minor in comparison to the suffering you would have endured and inflicted onto others over the course of your life if you left these things unchecked. Temporary discomfort is an investment in your future self. Accept a small and uncomfortable transition now, for a lifetime of growth and self-development. Feminism and self-discovery will uproot your entire life, but it’s going to be worth it. I promise.
‘Buried how long?’
The answer was always the same: ‘Almost eighteen years.’
‘You had abandoned all hope of being dug out?’
‘Long ago.’
‘You know that you are recalled to life?’
‘*They tell me so.’
‘I hope you care to live?’*
‘I can’t say.’
...
Eighteen years!’ said the passenger, looking at the sun. ‘Gracious Creator of day! To be buried alive for eighteen years!’
Sayfa 19
Through your dreams, my sleeping children. You had a passenger, and you never knew.
That's the spirit:
“So do you want to be a passenger in someone else’s narrative?
'No?'
'You want to be empowered.'
'You want creative agency.' 'You want agency, period. Control.' 'Over your art.' 'Over your life, Bunny.' 'All aspects of your life- physical, emotional, mental, spiritual… even-' 'You want to fuck, not be fucked.' Victoria says."
The Passenger !
Liza mekânlara bağlanmazdı. Mekânlar Cennete giden yolda mola verilen duraklardı sadece.
Sayfa 322 - Samuel vs LizaKitabı okudu
“You’re with me, baby,” I told her. “Get in.”
Not waiting to even see the look on her face, I slid into my seat and leaned over to open the passenger side door.
