From the outside, dating appears ordinary and enjoyable, but in reality, it can be an extremely draining process where one confronts existential fears, past wounds, and intense emotional fluctuations.
The Six Fundamental Reasons That Make This Process "Brutal":
Existential Stakes: The date is not just about one evening. It represents the search for long-term happiness and security, answering the question, "Will I die alone?"
The Cycle of Hope and Disappointment: Every new encounter begins with the question, "Could this person be 'the one'?" However, this hope often quickly crumbles due to deceptive photos, incompatibilities, and disappointment, creating a "polite hell."
The Burden of Having to Reject Others: An urgent need for love clashes with non-negotiable criteria (sexual/mental incompatibilities). Having to reject someone makes a person feel guilty and makes it difficult to see themselves as a "good person."
The Feeling of Helplessness: On the rare occasion that you really like someone, they are often "in a different place right now" or have other excuses that make them emotionally unavailable. This creates a deep feeling of helplessness and powerlessness.
The Triggering of Past Rejection Wounds: Every new rejection is not just about the current person. Subconsciously, it triggers all old rejection wounds—such as parental neglect in childhood, school bullying, or being left by a past partner—and reinforces the message "you are worthless."
Exhaustion: The uncertainty, constant judgment, endless swiping, and never-ending cycles of emotional ups and downs are utterly exhausting. This is not just physical tiredness, but an existential burnout.