Everything I Know About Love
Dolly AldertonEverything I Know About Love Gönderileri
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‘I was grateful for the sun on Kew Bridge as I placed each foot in front of the other. I was grateful for understanding in that moment that life can really be as simple as just breathing in and out. And I was thankful to know what it was to love the person walking next to me as much as I did. So deeply, so furiously. So impossibly.’
'It may seem that life is difficult at times but it's really as simple as breathing in and out,' she read. 'Rip open hearts with your fury and tear down egos with your modesty. Be the person you wish you could be, not the person you feel you are doomed to be. Let yourself run away with your feelings. You were made so that someone could love you. Let them love you.'
I tried to imagine what it would feel like to find a sense of security in the person you went to bed with - a notion that was so foreign to me. I looked at the small gaps in between all their bodies and imagined the places that lay between them; the stories they had written together; the memories and the language and the habits and the trust and the future dreams they would have discussed while drinking wine late at night on the sofa. I wondered if I would ever have that with someone or if I was even built to float in a sea of love. Whether I even wanted to.
On long, lonely nights when your fears crawl over your brain like cockroaches and you can't get to sleep, dream of the time you were loved - in another lifetime, one of toil and blood. Remember how it felt to find shelter in someone's arms. Hope that you'll find it again.
Without the love of Farly, I am just a heap of frayed and half-finished thoughts; of blood and muscle and skin and bone and unachievable dreams and a stack of shit teenage poetry under my bed.
You can restore your physical being to health; you can develop a rational, balanced, caring attitude to weight as well as good daily habits. But you can't forget how many calories are in a boiled egg or how many steps burn how many calories. You can't forget what exact weight you were every week of every month that made up that sometimes, on very difficult days, it feels like you'll never be as euphoric as that ten-year-old licking lurid jam off her fingertips, not ever again.