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Here is the question : once the number - one form of suicide in England became a physiological impossibility, did the people who wanted to kill themselves switch to other methods? Or did the people who would have put their heads in ovens now not commit suicide at all?
The assumption that people would simply switch to another method is called displacement. Displacement assumes that when people think of doing something as serious as committing suicide, they are very hard to stop. Blocking one option isn't going to make much of a difference.
The alternative possibility is that suicide is a behavior coupled to a particular context. Coupling is the idea that behaviors are linked to very specific circumstances and conditions.
Like her friend Sylvia Plath, Sexton was unlucky. She had an impulse coupled with a lethal method, just a year before that method stopped being so lethal. Had her difficult 1974 been instead her difficult 1984, she too might have lived much longer.
We overhear those two brilliant young poets I the bar at the Ritz, eagerly exchanging stories about their first suicide attempt, and we say that these two do not have long to live. Coupling teaches us the opposite. Don't look at the stranger and jump to conclusions. Look at the stranger's world.
In the early 1960s, when Plath committed suicide, the suicide rate for women of her age in England reached a staggering 10 per 100,000 - driven by a tragically high number of deaths by gas poisoning. That's as high as the suicide rate for women in England has ever been. By 1977,when the natural - gas changeover was complete, the suicide rate for women of that age was roughly half that. Plath was really unlucky. Had she come along ten years later there would have been no clouds like "carbon monoxide" for her to "sweetly, sweetly...breathe in."
My father read Charles Dickens 's A TALE OF TWO CITIES to me and my brothers when we were children, and at the very end, when Sydney Carton dies in Charles Darney' s place, my father wept. My father was not a weeper. ''He was not someone whose emotions bubbled over in every emotionally meaningful moment. He didn't cry in sad movies. He didn't cry when his children left for college. Maybe he got stealthily misty-eyed from time to time, but not so anyone other than maybe my mother would notice. In order to cry, he needed his children on the sofa listening, and he needed one of history's most sentimental novelists. Take away either of those two factors and no one would ever have seen his tears. That's coupling. If suicide is coupled, then it isn't simply the act of depressed people. It's the act of depressed people at a particular moment of extreme vulnerability and in combination with a particular, readily available lethal means.''
The conviction that we know others better than they know us-and that we may have insights about them they lack (but not vice versa) - leads us to talk when we would do well to listen and to be less patient than we ought to be when others express the conviction that they are the ones who are being misunderstood or judged unfairly.
We need to accept that the search to understand a stranger has real limits. We will never know the whole truth. We have to be satisfied with something short of that.