Flow is mysterious. It is like a muscle: the more you train it, the more you will flow, and the closer you will be to your ikigai. We need randomness, mess,
adventures, uncertainty..
No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.
Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift —by praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift,
the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, seek new strategies, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.
So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain:the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune