Merve B

Now I can be terrified equally of getting pregnant and not ever getting pregnant.
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When I was visiting her a few years ago, she hugged me and said, ‘tomorrow after you leave I will stand here at this window and remember that yesterday you were right here with me’. and now she’s dead and I have that feeling all the time, no matter where I stand.
I am at a slightly unfamiliar angle to myself.I look beat up, like someone who has gotten ill and aged a decade in a few months.I look into my eyes but they aren’t really mine, not the eyes I used to have.they are the eyes of someone very tired and very sad, and once I see them I feel even sadder.
It’s strange, to not be the youngest kind of adult anymore.
Most people spend their days lost in a fog of their own thoughts and feelings, having little ability to sort through them.