So rather than changing or not having the thoughts and feelings that make up our experience, mindfulness is about changing our relationship to those thoughts and emotions.
I was discussing this with Caroline Sutton, my book editor, and she made a striking statement that really rang true: people romanticize their anxiety and/or stress. They wear it like a badge of honor, without which they would be a lesser person, or worse, lose a sense of purpose. To many, stress equals success. As she put it, “If you are stressed, you are making a contribution. If you’re not stressed, you’re a loser.”