Did I tell you I’m no good at being alone
Teddy Swims - Lose Control
youtu.be/GZ3zL7kT6_c?fea...
Somethings got a hold of me lately
No, I don’t know myself anymore
Feels like the walls are all closing in
And the devil’s knocking at my door
neden bilmiyorum ama hosuma gitti
what was it that made me yearn to walk across? what was it that made me want to give myself to her? it wasn't just that she was exquisite. sure, you had the gently smiling mouth, the soft full lips, the set-square straightness of that lovely nose. I could take or leave all that. you could see similar blandly beautiful young people in any fashion magazine. but she was flawed too. that was the brilliance of it. there was a homeliness to her, something ordinary in the lines of the face that made her seem accessible. it was the flash of doris blower behind marianne de sèvres. you sensed that deep down she understood what it was to feel imperfect and unspectacular. she understood your need for love.
Sayfa 174 - marianne de sèvres spectreKitabı okuyor
“There’s no need to wait. You have already captured my heart, body, and soul, Ava. I have no clue when it started, but at some point, my possessiveness and obsessiveness with you turned into this inferno of emotions where I was prepared to lose you if it meant protecting you. That’s when I realized I was in love with everything about you, whether it’s your obsession with pink, candy floss, or cheesy books and films. The lack of you has stripped my world of color and made me realize you’re my sole light in the darkness. It’s why I killed for you and would do it again in a heartbeat. I’d kill everyone if it meant I’d get to keep you. Perhaps that’s not the healthiest form of love, but it’s all I have. The heart you slowly awakened is entirely yours to do with as you please.”
Love
In English we say I can't stop thinking about you. In poetry we say I know we have only just met and I don't mean to move too fast but I couldn't sleep last night because I don't know your middle name or how you take your coffee! and for some reason there's nothing in the world I would like to know more except maybe how your hair looks when it's messy in the morning and what makes you laugh until you cry or what makes you laugh when you're crying! either or both or all of those facts would be fine and I know we only just met and I don't mean to move too fast but I couldn't focus this morning because I need to know your preference and take out food and the dreams you'd never say out loud but secretly wish to come true and if I were to buy you flowers would you want them to be blue!? and I know we only just met and I don't mean to move too fast but suddenly your voice is in my head playing on repeat and I'll probably never say this out loud andI should probably get some sleep it's just that suddenly everything that's significant to you is significant to me. 🤍
Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because they imagine it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them. In it they can reduce women to the status of objects. That is the great distinction between the sexes. Men see objects, women see relationship between objects. Whether the objects love each other, need each other, match each other. It is an extra dimension of feeling we men are without and one that makes war abhorrent to all real women - and absurd. I will tell you what war is. War is a psychosis caused by an inability to see relationships. Our relationship with our fellow-men. Our relationship with our economic and historical situation. And above all, our relationship to nothingness. To death.
Erkekler savaş sever çünkü bu iş ciddi görünmelerine izin verir. Çünkü kadınların onlara gülmesini engelleyen tek şeyin bu olduğunu düşünürler. İçlerinde kadınları nesneleştirebilirler. İki cinsiyet arasındaki en büyük ayrım da budur. Erkekler nesneleri, kadınlar nesneler arasındaki ilişkiyi görürler. Nesnelerin birbirini sevip sevmediği, birbirine ihtiyacı olup olmadığı, birbiriyle eşleşip eşleşmediği. Bu, erkeklerin yoksun olduğu ekstra bir duygu boyutudur ve yine savaşı tüm kadınlara menfur ve saçma kılan bir gerçektir. Gel sana savaşın ne olduğunu söyleyeyim. Savaş, ilişkileri görememenin neden olduğu bir psikozdur. Dostlarımızla olan ilişkimizi. Ekonomik ve tarihsel durumumuzla ilişkimizi. Ve hepsinden önemlisi, hiçlikle olan ilişkimizi. Ölümüne.
“Stop taking on my burdens!”
“I can’t! They’re my burdens now, too! Because I can’t live without you anymore. Because I don’t want you in prison, Devon. I want you out here, with me, for as long as I can fucking have you. Because… Because you’re a piece of shit asshole from Garron Park with a loud mouth and have the ability to piss me off like none other… and you’re exactly what I want. What I need. So be pissed at me all you want, Devon. But I’d do it again. I’d do it every fucking time because I’m falling for you, you dumb fuck.”
