Effective communication works on the understanding that we
all have very specific needs in relationships, many of which are
determined by your attachment style. They aren't good or bad,
they simply are what they are. If you're anxious, you have a strong
need for closeness and have to be reassured at all times that your
partner loves and respects you. If you're avoidant, you need to be
able to maintain some distance, either emotional or physical, from
your partner and preserve a large degree of separateness. In order
to be happy in a relationship, we need to find a way to commu-
nicate our attachment needs clearly without resorting to attacks
or defensiveness.