Girl In Pieces
Kathleen GlaslowGirl In Pieces Sözleri ve Alıntıları
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The world becomes an ocean, the ocean washes over me, the sound of water is deafening, the water drowns my heart, my panic becomes as large as planets.
“he was in a Kiefer stage then. We all have our Kiefer stages, when we want to destroy ourselves in order to create. To see if that’s beautiful, too.”
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A girl’s life is the worst life in the world. A girl’s life is: you are born, you bleed, you burn.
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He asks me, Did you take something? I tell him no and roll toward the wall. I lost something, I lost some things, I tell him. I keep losing things. I’m tired.
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The first time I ever cut myself, the best part was after: swabbing the wound with a cotton ball, carefully drying it, inspecting it, this way and that, cradling my arm protectively against my stomach. There, there. I cut because I can’t deal. It’s as simple as that. The world becomes an ocean, the ocean washes over me, the sound of water is deafening, the water drowns my heart, my panic becomes as large as planets. I need release, I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself. There, there.
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She looks around at us, her face settling into a gentle smile. She says, “Your job here is you. We are all here to get better, aren’t we?” Which means: we are all presently shit. But we knew that already.
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There are so many people who are never coming back.
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Where do I put them, these dead ones, these live ones, these people who hover about me like ghosts?
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People have so many secrets. They are never exactly what they seem.
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In a rush, it happens again, only this time it’s remembering what it’s like to cut, and cut hard. The way you have to dig the glass in, deeply, right away, to break the skin and then drag, and drag fiercely, to make a river worth drowning in. Oh, it hurts to make that river. The pain is sharp and bleary all at once; curtains part and shut over your eyes; bull breath from your nostrils. It fucking hurts, hurts, hurts. But when the blood comes, everything is warmer, and calmer.
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