shahin
@s_liyarli
6 okur puanı
Eylül 2019 tarihinde katıldı
Şu anda okuduğu kitap
Summary of 5th essay - "16 Signs of a Socially Intelligent Person"İletişim
social intelligence is crucial for effective communication and forming meaningful connections. politeness is important, but traditional politeness should not suppress genuine expression. socially intelligent individuals possess certain core traits that enable them to engage with others comfortably while remaining true to themselves. these traits include:
1. avoiding eliciting strong emotional responses from others during conversations.
2. not speaking in definitive terms about people, politics, or ideas, showing openness to different perspectives.
3. responding thoughtfully to criticism instead of becoming defensive.
4. distinguishing their opinions from facts when describing others.
5. avoiding overgeneralization and using non-threatening language to create a constructive dialogue.
6. speaking with precision and mindfulness, focusing on effective communication.
7. practicing healthy disassociation by not making conversations about themselves.
8. avoiding informing people of their ignorance and instead encouraging open discussions.
9. validating other people's feelings without dismissing or denying them, acknowledging their emotions respectfully.
10. recognizing that their dislikes of others may reflect their own unresolved issues.
11. not engaging in arguments with people who only want to win, not learn or connect.
12. listening actively and without preoccupation, showing the ability to "hold space" for others.
13. being mindful of what they post online, considering how it may reflect on them personally and professionally.
14. refraining from considering themselves as judges of truth, expressing their opinions as beliefs rather than facts.
15. avoiding "poisoning the well" fallacies and ad hominem attacks during discussions.
16. prioritizing self-awareness and
Sayfa 19
0-30p: Kontrollü okuyucu 📖
40-70p: Hafif bağımlı 👀
80p+: Geçmiş olsun, kitaplar seni ele geçirmiş 😅
the next time you blame an external factor for your lack of self- discipline, think again. was it the person eating chocolate next to you who controlled what you put in your mouth, or was it you?
Day 5: On Enslavement to SelfDisiplin
before complaining that you are a slave to another, be sure that you are not a slave to self. look within; you will find there, perchance, slavish thoughts, slavish desires, and in your daily life and conduct slavish habits. conquer these; cease to be a slave to self, and no man will have the power to enslave you.
10 Things Emotionally Intelligent People do not DoDuygu ve Düşünce
1. They don’t assume that the way they think and feel about a situation is the way it is in reality, nor how it will turn out in the end.
2. Their emotional base points are not external.
Their emotions aren’t “somebody else’s doing,” and therefore “somebody else’s problem to resolve.” (in my words, they take responsibility for their emotions and don't blame others for how they feel. They avoid feeling helpless and thinking the universe will fix their problems. Instead, they recognize that they are in control of their emotions and experiences.)
3. They don’t assume to know what it is that will make them truly happy.
(our past experiences shape how we view happiness. We might mistake feeling "Saved" from past dislikes for true happiness. By accepting that life has both good and bad, we become open to any new experiences.)
4. They don’t think that being fearful is a sign they are on the wrong path.
The presence of indifference is a sign you’re on the wrong path. Fear means you’re trying to move toward something you love, but your old beliefs, or unhealed experiences, are getting in the way. (or, rather, are being called up to be healed.)
5. They know that happiness is a choice, but they don’t feel the need to make it all the time.
They are not stuck in the illusion that “happiness” is a sustained state of joy. They allow themselves time to process everything they are experiencing. They allow themselves to exist in their natural state. In that non-resistance, they find contentment.
6. They don’t allow their thoughts to be chosen for them.
(they acknowledge the influence of social conditioning and their monkey-like mind on their thoughts and beliefs. To counteract this, they assess their beliefs' origins and relevance, choosing only those that genuinely benefit
prepare yourself for difficult situations by putting up roadblocks ahead of time, when your resolve isn’t being tested. your self- control system will do some of the heavy lifting for you, leaving your reserves of self-discipline to be used for the unplanned situations, when they arise.