I watch his hair flying in the wind and I hate that the only urge I have is to touch it, run my fingers through it.
But I can’t.
Wanting him is a painful struggle. Wanting him is ripping a hole in the very marrow of my existence and making me question everything.
I can’t afford to question everything.
I need my system and routines, and he simply does not belong there.
He’s an error in the matrix.
A plot hole in a story.
“You’re okay with that?”
“With what?”
“Being in the closet with him. You already came out, so you’re under no obligation to be shoved in the dark with him.”
“He’ll come out one day.”
“And you’re happy to wait? As long as it takes?”
“If it’s him, yeah. I guess.”
“Okay.” He clutches my shoulders. “I just want you to know that you deserve to be loved in the light, Niko. Just like everyone else.”