h
@cicala
taşların ve ağaçların sırrını bilmeyi dilerdim
“i’ve had a pretty hard life, with my injury and all — but i guess i just have a very strong sense of myself, of my own needs.”
“Kötü bir anıyı unutmanın en iyi yolu güzel bir tanesiyle değişmektir.”
after class, i wandered downstairs in a dream, my head spinning, but acutely, achingly conscious that i was alive and young on a beautiful day; the sky a deep deep painful blue, wind scattering the red and yellow leaves in a whirlwind of confetti.
beauty is terror. whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it.
“the greeks were different. they had a passion for order and symmetry, much like the romans, but they knew how foolish it was to deny the unseen world, the old gods. emotion, darkness, barbarism.” hе looked at the ceiling for a moment, his face almost troubled. “do you remember what we were speaking of earlier, of how bloody, terrible things are sometimes the most beautiful?” he said. “it’s a very greek idea, and a very profound one. beauty is terror. whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. and what could be more terrifying and beautiful, to souls like the greeks or our own, than to lose control completely? to throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves? euripides speaks of the maenads: head thrown back, throat to the stars, ‘more like deer than human being.’ to be absolutely free! one is quite capable, of course, of working out these destructive passions in more vulgar and less efficient ways. but how glorious to release them in a single burst! to sing, to scream, to dance barefoot in the woods in the dead of night, with no more awareness of mortality than an animal! these are powerful mysteries. the bellowing of bulls. springs of honey bubbling from the ground. if we are strong enough in our souls we can rip away the veil and look that naked, terrible beauty right in the face; let god consume us, devour us, unstring our bones. then spit us out reborn.”
we were all leaning forward, motionless. my mouth had fallen open; i was aware of every breath I took.
“and that, to me, is the terrible seduction of dionysiac ritual. hard for us to imagine. that fire of pure being.”