“And if you want, we can listen to my music together. I know I said I’d never let you listen, but I mean, you can, if you want. Jamie made me a new playlist on his computer last night, and I put it on my MP3 player. I don’t know what he put on it, but we can listen together.”
She squeezed my hand twice again. I gave her one of the earbuds, and I took the other. We lay backward on her bed with our feet dangling off the edge. I hit play on the MP3 player and the song that started playing was “Low” by Flo Rida featuring T-Pain. Geez, Jamie. Not the perfect song for the moment. I went to change it, but Maggie squeezed my hand once, stopping me. Her eyes were closed and a few tears fell down her cheeks, but I swore I saw it: a tiny smile. It was so tiny some people would probably think it was a frown, but I knew it wasn’t.
My chest hurt, seeing the almost smile on her lips. I closed my eyes, and a few tears fell from my eyes, too, as we listened to Flo Rida. I didn’t know why, but whenever she cried, I did, too.
In that moment, I knew she had been right about everything all along.
She was right about me, and her, and us.
She’d be the one girl I’d love until forever.
No matter how life tried to change us.
Reklam
“I need you to know that even if you decide to never speak again, you’ll always have someone around to hear you, Maggie. All right? I’ll always be there to listen to your silence. "
You okay today, Maggie May?” I asked with my hands holding my MP3 player as I stood outside of her bedroom door. She was standing by her window, staring down at the street when I arrived. She turned slowly my way and wrapped her arms tightly around her body. Her eyes looked sad, which made me sad, but I didn’t show it. I just gave her a small smile.
“You okay today?” I repeated.
She nodded slowly, and I knew it was a lie, but that was okay. She could take all the time she needed to be okay, I didn’t mind. I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Can I come in?”
She nodded again.
When I stepped in, I straightened my tie—the green one she loved. My palms were sweating against my MP3 player, and my nose sniffled as we both sat on her bed. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, most of the time when people had a friendship, both sides talked. The more silence there was, the more nervous I became. My feet started tapping on the floor, and I watched as Maggie’s hands stayed clasped together in her lap. Her skin was extra pale, her eyes were extra heavy, and in that moment, I missed it.
I missed the one thing that had annoyed me for so long.
I missed her voice.
Your mom said you’re not speaking. She said you have nothin’ to say, but I think that’s a lie. I think you have a lot to say, but you don’t know how to say it.”
“Maggie May, when I tell you to look at me, you must listen!” Her voice was laced with panic, almost as if she was fearful that her little girl was gone and would never come back.
Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’d fallen so deep into the back of my mind that I’d never have to remember what it was like to feel, to hurt, to break, to breathe. My eyes hurt from being awake for so long, but that hurt was nowhere near the ache in my chest. In my ears, I could still hear the screams of the person being attacked. In my head, I could still see her fighting for her life, and in my heart, I could still feel the monster against my soul.
A few tears fell down my cheeks and my body shook.
Reklam