"Love is the falcon's flight over your sands. Because for him, you are a green field, from which he always returns with game. He knows your rocks, your dunes, and your mountains, and you are generous to him."
the old pull, the tide drawing me back in. i kept getting caught in this current—first love, i mean. first love kept making me come back to this, to him. he still took my breath away, just being near him.
his eyes were these bleak and empty abysses, like sockets. there was nothing there. the boy i thought i knew so well was gone. he looked so lost sitting there. i felt that old lurch, that gravitational pull, that desire to inhabit him—like wherever he was in this world, i would know where to find him, and i would do it. i would find him and take him home. i would take care of him, just like susannah wanted.
she said, still in her light voice, “you’ll look after him, won’t you?”
“who?”
i could feel her cheeks form into a smile. “you know who.”
“yes,” i whispered, still holding on tight.
“good,” she said, sighing. “he needs you.”
i didn’t ask who “he” was. i didn’t need to.
the thing was, jeremiah was right. i did love him. i knew the exact moment it became real too. conrad got up early to make a special belated father’s day breakfast, only mr. fisher hadn’t been able to come down the night before. he wasn’t there the next morning the way he was supposed to be. conrad cooked anyway, and he was thirteen and a terrible cook, but we all ate it. watching him serving rubbery eggs and pretending not to be sad, i thought to myself, i will love this boy forever.