Parahat Sazakov
@iamsazakov
“Küçük çaplı” günahlarımla yaşamaya, iyiye doğru gelişmeye çalışan birisi
İngilizce Öğretmeni
Master Degree
Samsun
Daşoguz, 8 Eylül 2000
53 okur puanıNisan 2021 tarihinde katıldı
I'm in my thirties. I'm not a child, and I thought there was nothing new about me left to discover. But there is. I am a mystery to myself; I opened the floodgates and I want to go further, try everything that I know exists- masochism, group sex, fetishes, everything...
Reklam
Men cheat because it's in their genetic code. A woman does it because she doesn't have enough dignity; in addition to handing over her body, she always ends up handing over a bit of heart. A true crime. A theft. İt's worse than robbing a bank, because if one day she is discovered (and she always is), she will cause irreparable damage to her family.
For men it is just a ''stupid mistake''. For women, it feels like a spiritual crime against all those who surround her with affection and support her as a mother and wife
I am standing in front of the old city wall, a monument one hundred meters wide with towering statues of four men who are flanked by two smaller statues. One stands out from the rest. His head is covered, he has a long beard, and he holds in his hands what, in his time, was more powerful than a machine gun: the Bible.
While I wait, I think: ''İf that man in the middle had been born today, everyone- especially Catholics, in France and around the world - would call him a ''terrorist''. His tactics for implementing what he believed to be the ultimate truth remind me of the perverted mind of Osama bin Laden. Both men had the same goal: to install a theocratic state in which all who disobeyed what was understood to be the law of God should be punished.
Are we encouraging depression ands suicidal tendencies when we publish articles on successful people without explaining how they got there and make everyone else convince themselves they’re worthless?
When we love someone, we're not satisfied with knowing not only the person's soul- we also want to understand the person's body. İs it necessary? I don't know, but instinct encourages us. There is no set time time for it to take place, no rules to follow. Nothing beats that moment of revelation when shyness loses ground to boldness, and quiet moans turn into squeals and swearing. Yes, swearing- I have an overwhelming need to hear forbidden and 'dirty' things when I have got a man in me.
İn these moments, the same old questions arise: ''Am I squeezing too hard?'', ''Should I go faster or slower?''. These questions might seem out of place or bothersome, but they are part of this act of initiation, understanding and mutual respect. İt is very important to talk while building a perfect intimacy. The opposite would mean silent and dishonest frustration.
Then comes marriage. We try to maintain the same behavior and sometimes we succeed- in my case- it lasted until I got pregnant the first time- which happened quickly. Until suddenly we realize that things have changed.
Sex, from now on, is only at night and preferably just before bedtime. As if it were an obligation, both parties accept without questioning whether the other is in the mood. İf sex is skipped, suspicions arise, so it's best to stick to the ritual.
Reklam