Homesick for Another World
Ottessa MoshfeghHomesick for Another World Sözleri ve Alıntıları
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I still felt that the good things, the things I wanted, belonged to somebody else.
“Going clubbing” was always her request, but I couldn’t stand all that. A night under a colored lightbulb over twenty-dollar cocktails, getting hit on by skinny Indian engineers, not dancing, a stamp on the back of my hand I couldn’t scrub off. I felt vandalized.
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“Why is it, Waldemar,” I would ask him, “that when something here is so beautiful, I just want to die?”
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Whenever anyone talked about Ukraine, I pictured either a stark, gray forest full of howling black wolves or a trashy bar on a highway full of tired male prostitutes.
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"Everybody was so obsessed with being understood. It made
me sick."
I said, “On a good day, every small thing is enchanting. Everything is a miracle. There is no emptiness. There is no need for forgiveness or escape or medicine. I heat only the wind in the trees, and my devils hatching their sacral plans, fusing all the shattered pieces together into a blanket of ice. I have found that it’s under that ice that I can feel I am just another normal person. In the dark and cold, I am at ‘peace.’”
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You’d think that, sitting there, oozing slowly toward death with every breath, they’d all go out of their minds. But no—they were too dumb for insanity.
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Every year, the kids had to take a big exam that let the state know just how bad I was at doing my job.
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