Love Letters To The Dead
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Seni sevmesi gereken birinin öylece gitmesinden daha kötüsü olamaz.
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"Ölülere Aşk Mektupları"
So maybe when we can say things, when we can write the words, when we can express how it feels, we aren’t so helpless.
Sayfa 234Kitabı okudu
But really, we all just have these blood and guts inside of us. And as much as I was hiding from him, I guess part of me also always wanted Sky to see into me—to know the things that I was too scared to tell him. But we aren’t transparent. If we want someone to know us, we have to tell them stuff.
Sayfa 223Kitabı okudu
It wasn’t fair what happened to you, either. Or what happened to her. A lot of things aren’t. I guess we can either be angry about it forever or else we just have to try to make things better with what we have now.
Sayfa 222Kitabı okudu
Sometimes, the smallest gestures take up the most room.
Sayfa 216Kitabı okudu
“What I told you about saving people isn’t true. You might think it is, because you might want someone else to save you, or you might want to save someone so badly. But no one else can save you, not really. Not from yourself,” he said. “You fall asleep in the foothills, and the wolf comes down from the mountains. And you hope someone will wake you up. Or chase it off. Or shoot it dead. But when you realize that the wolf is inside you, that’s when you know. You can’t run from it. And no one who loves you can kill the wolf, because it’s part of you. They see your face on it. And they won’t fire the shot.”
Sayfa 179Kitabı okudu
I have found that sometimes, moments get stuck in your body. They are there, lodged under your skin like hard seed-stones of wonder or sadness or fear, everything else growing up around them. And if you turn a certain way, if you fall, one of them could get free. It might dissolve in your blood, or it might spring up a whole tree. Sometimes, once one of them gets out, they all start to go. I feel like I am drowning in memories.
Sayfa 146Kitabı okudu
You said that your daughter’s life would be so much happier without you. I can tell you that you are wrong. It’s a terrible excuse from someone who can’t bear to be around. It’s a bad way to make yourself feel better when you know you are leaving someone who doesn’t want you to go. Someone who needs you.
Sayfa 144Kitabı okudu
“There are two most important things in the world—being in danger, and being saved.” I thought for a moment of May. I asked him, “Do you think we go into danger on purpose, so we can get saved?”
“Yes, sometimes. But sometimes the wolf comes down out of the mountains, and you didn’t ask for it. You were just trying to take a nap in the foothills.” Then I asked him, “But if those are the two most important things, what about being in love?”
“Why do you think that’s the most profound thing for a person? It’s both at once. When we are in love, we are both completely in danger and completely saved.”
Sayfa 120Kitabı okudu
I know that it can be hard to believe that someone loves you if you are afraid of being yourself, or if you are not exactly sure who you are. It can be hard to believe that someone won’t leave.
Sayfa 115Kitabı okudu
I saw that there were soccer trophies and a framed photo of Sky. He was younger, maybe twelve. He was in his uniform, grinning with a ball in his hands. There was something about seeing him like that—the same boy I loved looking out at me as a kid who smiled for the camera. I wanted to pull him out of the picture and protect him from everything between then and now.
Sayfa 108Kitabı okudu
I want to be cleansed—I want to burn away all of the bad memories and everything bad inside of me. And maybe that’s what being in love does. So that a life, a person, a moment you need to keep, stays with you into infinity.
Sayfa 103Kitabı okudu
When I woke up today to the memory of Sky’s body, all of the sad things in me were still hungry. They started to take everything in—the rain streaking in the sky, the spill of light on the table, the tiniest drops of water clinging to a pine needle on a tree outside my window. Maybe that’s what being in love is. You just keep filling up, never getting fuller, only brighter.
Sayfa 102Kitabı okudu
I wouldn’t be me, the one who let everything go wrong. I focused so hard, until Sky was all that I could see. And then I got this feeling that I needed to be so much closer to his body. I wanted our skin to stop keeping us apart. So I kissed him harder, and he kissed me harder, and my clothes came partway off, and he touched me everywhere. It was then that all of the sad things inside of me turned into hungry things.
Sayfa 102Kitabı okudu
And then he took his hand off of my leg, and his hand found mine, and he held on to it, and he seemed like an anchor to the earth.
Sayfa 51Kitabı okudu