Priest Gönderileri
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Page 145
I debated for a moment about explaining, but we had just shared something so intimate, why would I hold this back from her? Just because it was depressing ? Suddenly, I wanted to share. I wanted her to know every thing that I’d dragged around by myself,I wanted to show her all of my burdens and have her lift them from me with her clever mind and her elegant compassion.
- Priest
Page 6
“ I need to know that everything will be OK,” she continued quietly.” That I will be able to live with myself.”
A sharp tug in my chest. How often had I whispered those same words to the ceiling in the rectory, lying awake in bed, consumed with thoughts of what my life could have been? I need to know that everything will be OK.
Didn’t we all wasn’t that unspoken cry of our broken souls?
“ I don’t know if everything will be OK. It may not be. You may think you are at the lowest point now and then look up one day and see that it’s gotten so much worse.” I looked down at my hands, the hands that had pulled my oldest sister from a rope after she hung herself in my parents garage.” You may not ever be able to get out of bed in the morning with the security. That moment of OK may never come.All you can do is try to find a new balance, a new starting point. Find whatever love is left in your life and hold on to it tightly. And one day,things will have gotten less grey, less dull. One day, you might find that you have a life again. A life that makes you happy.”
- Priest
“If I’d never met you, I would never have really lived.”
I could never hate you.”
“Really? Even if I made you choose between me and your god?”
I had broken my vow for a woman who didn’t even care enough to stick around for breakfast.
I wanted everything but my sin and these starbursts in my eyes stripped away.
Part of the problem is that there is this slice of myself that has always been there with me, or maybe it’s not a slice, but a layer, like a ring of a tree. And wherever I go and whatever I do, it’s there.
