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I felt how his longing for a son was constantly growing. Since
he loved me he did his best to conceal his impatience from me.
But in such a matter a woman cannot be deceived, and I suffered
all the more deeply that I remained unable to give him his heart's desire.
Sayfa 148Kitabı okudu
Fate willed it that the crown jewels which I had helped create should adorn my successor.
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Mosaddegh
He has turned eighty, he still remains a rebel at heart. Friends tell me that after my divorce he hung a large portrait of me in his drawing room!
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İntrigue
I would be prepared to swear that the following story is true.
One day, when both the girls had become young ladies of mar-
riageable age the Shah summoned them to his study. There he
presented two young men to his daughters, with the remark:
"These are your future husbands. I hope that they will make
you happy."
One of the men was Ali Ghavan, son of a big landowner, and
the other Ali Djam. Shams was to marry young Ghavan and Ash-
raff young Djam. On the evening before the double wedding, however, Shams went to her father and said:
"I like Djam much better than Ghavan. Could we exchange
husbands?"
"Very well," said the Shah. "It shall be arranged."
So at the very last moment Ashraff had to marry the man who
was supposed to have become her sister's husband. Both these
marriages ended in divorce.
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Princess's wedding dress
After a while I began to complain of the weight of my dress. Mohammed Riza and Dr. Ayadi asked if there was anything they
could do. Finally the Shah made a practical suggestion:
"Why don't we cut away your petticoats?"
A skillful lady-in-waiting cut off almost ten yards of petticoat
without my having to take it off. The fact that I was freed of all
this weight meant perhaps less to me than the consoling thought that my husband had been so anxious to help me. In any event I regained my courage, and no one noticed any alteration to my dress.
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"Empresses age quickly. The life that's in store for her will turn
her hair gray soon enough."
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On the other hand, I would probably still be the Empress of
Iran if I had been able to accept unconditionally certain traditions.
Many Persian women in my position would have agreed that the Shah should take a second wife and would then have
accepted unhappiness for the rest of their lives rather than lose
their position.
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I would rather be a modern Persian woman, living her life in freedom, than some poor creature at the Court of Teheran sacrificed in the interests of state policy.
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I mourned the man whom I had loved, for to me it was as though he were dead.
If one has so exceptional a position in life it is impossible to
remain natural. As time went on I, too, quite unwittingly became
a sort of actress. From morning to night I played a part, and
since it was always the same part, it gradually became second
nature to me.
That was why I felt lost when the red carpet was suddenly
pulled away from under me.
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