The Course of Love
Alain de BottonThe Course of Love Gönderileri
The Course of Love kitaplarını, The Course of Love sözleri ve alıntılarını, The Course of Love yazarlarını, The Course of Love yorumları ve incelemelerini 1000Kitap'ta bulabilirsiniz.
It is a quirk of the age that the easiest way to start a friendship with someone is generally by asking them to get undressed.
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It is a wonderful thing to live in a world where so many people are nice to children. It would be even better if we lived in one where we were a little nicer to the childlike sides of one another.
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I will never be able to do or be everything you want, nor vice versa, but I'd like to think we can be the sort of people who will dare to tell each other who we really are. The alternative is silence and lies, which are the real enemies of love.
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We believe we are seeking happiness in love, but what we are really after is familiarity. We are looking to re-create, within our adult relation-ships, the very feelings we knew so well in childhood - and which were rarely limited to just tenderness and care. The love most of us will have tasted early on came entwined with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent's warmth or scared of his or her anger, or of not feeling secure enough to communicate our trickier wishes.
How logical, then, that we should as adults find oursehes rejecting certain candidates not because they are wrong but because they are a lite too right - in the sense of seeming somehow excessively balanced, mature, understanding and reliable - given that, in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign and unearned. We chase after more exciting others, not in the belief that life with them will be more harmonious, but out of an unconscious sense that it will be reassuringly familiar in its patterns of frustration.
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proposing has all the passionate allure of shutting one's eyes and jumping off a steep cliff, wishing and trusting that the other will be there to catch one.
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there is no one more likely to destroy us than the person we marry.
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We call things a turn-on but what we might really be alluding to is delight at finally having been allowed to reveal our secret selves - and at discovering that, far from being horrified by who we are, our lovers have opted to respond with only encouragement and approval.
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It's more than mere coyness to refer to what they have done as making love. They haven't just had sex; they have translated their feelings - appreciation, tenderness, gratitude and surrender - into a physical act.
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This is another part of her he loves: the weakness of the deeply able and competent person.
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Love means admiration for qualities in the lover that promise to correct our weaknesses and imbalances; love is a search for completion.
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