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She didn’t realize that she had been stabbed until Nezha drew his hand away, and she saw the blood on his fingers.
She slumped to the side. He pulled her into his arms.
What a relief it would be to know that at the end of this life there was a better one, that perhaps upon death you might enjoy the comforts you had always been denied instead of fading away from an indifferent universe. What a relief to know that the world was supposed to make sense, and that if it didn’t, you would one day be justly compensated.
"You asked how large my sorrow is, and I answered, like a river in spring flowing east."
“You… but you…”
“Don’t try to speak,” Nezha murmured, and he brushed his lips against her forehead as he drove the knife deeper into her back.
“You face it. You accept that it’s your reality now. You fight it.”
Fire and water looked so lovely together. It was a pity they destroyed each other by nature.
“Kneel,” Daji commanded.
No, spoke the Phoenix.
The god's voice was terribly quiet, a tiny echo across a vast plain. But it was there.
Daji’s eyes flashed yellow. “Kneel.”
You will not kneel, said the Phoenix.
Fool, she thought. You loved him and you trusted him, and you walked straight into his trap.
“What are you doing?”
“Where’s your injury?” he asked. He pressed his fingers into the scar in her side. “Here?”
“That hurts.”
“Good,” he said.
Why was it that whenever she looked at Nezha, she wanted to either kill him or kiss him? He made her either furious or deliriously happy. The one thing he did not make her feel was secure.
With him there was no neutrality, no in between. She loved him or she hated him, but she didn’t know how to do both.
Rage was intricately tied to the past.
Or maybe, she thought, with stars this bright, if you believed that above you lay the cosmos, then you had to construct a yurt to provide some temporary feeling of materiality. Otherwise, under the weight of swirling divinity, you might feel you had no significance at all.
“This world is ephemeral. Permanence is an illusion.”
“You’re a little girl armed with a stick.”
You’re a little girl armed with fire, said the Phoenix.
“You’ve known Neha for a few years. You met him when he’d perfected his masks and pretensions. But I’ve known him since we were children. You think that he's invincible, but he is more fragile than you think. Yes, I know he’s a prick. But I also know that he’d throw himself off a cliff for you. Please stop trying to break him."