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Thayer Holmes has lovingly grown my favorite flower in his greenhouse all this time just because it reminds him of me.
“I swear to God, Sunshine, I’m going to make you the happiest woman on the planet.”
Six years ago, this smiley blonde woman wormed her way into my cold, angry heart and made it hers. I’ve never wanted it back. I still don’t. But I do want to give her even more. When she’s ready.
When you love someone, you take care of them in whatever way they need.
“It means, I want to have more babies with you. I want to go on vacations with you. I want to cook meals in this kitchen and do stupid mundane shit like clean the fucking house together. I want your clothes with mine in the fucking laundry. I want to laugh and cry together. I want to hold you every night when you sleep. I want to kiss you goodnight and good morning. I want to make love to you slow and fuck you hard. I want to sit out on the front porch and rock on the swing. I want, not only to grow old with you, but to live life with you. I want it all.”
“It’s not always easy to forgive yourself—there is no step-by-step process. Just remember no one is perfect.” He lightly touches my cheek with his other hand. “At the end of the day, we’re all human, and not a single one of us is better than another.”
I know he’s right, but it’s easier said than done.
“Sit down,” he says again, softer this time. “Life’s too short to constantly be stuck on the past or obsessing over what ifs. We have this.” He waves to the world around us. “We have now.”