Yanı Başınızdaki Sosyopatı Alt Etmek
Martha StoutYanı Başınızdaki Sosyopatı Alt Etmek Gönderileri
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Technically, all sociopaths are narcissistic. (...) A narcissist is cruelly unresponsive to the emotional needs of his children, his friends, and his lovers, and often leaves long-term scars. In contrast, a sociopath—who also leaves long-term scars—studies people’s emotions as you or I might study math or a foreign language; he knows exactly how to respond. In interpersonal situations, this skill can make a sociopath more difficult than a narcissist to distinguish from a normal person, because both the normal person and the sociopath seem to respond compassionately to the distress of a family member or a friend.
Because he has the capacity to bond, the narcissist does experience the emotion of conscience. But his ability to act on that conscience is severely flawed by his impenetrable ignorance of other people’s feelings and needs.
The fundamental difference between sociopathy and narcissism is an important one, but can be surprisingly irrelevant in the real world: Where the sociopath is devoid of both conscience and empathy, the narcissist lacks “only” empathy.
The sociopath wants to manipulate and control you—to have a large effect on you—and so you are rewarding and encouraging him each and every time you allow him to see your anger, your confusion, or your hurt.
Evil results from the absence of an ability to form normal emotional connections with others. And, in counterpoint—according to all the major religions of the world and many other ancient sources of wisdom, and also by the implications of modern evolutionary thought—goodness exists where this ability to connect is present. In short, goodness stems from the power to love.
Sociopaths do not commit crimes of passion, as desperate and emotionally overwhelmed people sometimes do. They do not hear voices commanding them to kill, like the rare and tragic individual whose violent acts are compelled by paranoid psychosis. Rather, they murder for convenience and also because, for them, killing is exciting and fun—killing as the ultimate form of domination and control over another living being.
Conscience is a powerful emotion, a kind of evolutionary miracle.
We want our monsters to look like monsters. That we should want this makes good sense: if everyone who did hideous things looked like a person who did hideous things, we would know for sure that we were safe when we encountered people who looked like regular folks. But there is no face of evil.
Sociopaths who turn to lethal violence are in the minority. Most conscienceless people are destructive liars and manipulators who play brutal psychological, financial, and political games with our lives, and they comprise the single largest group of domestic abusers—which is to say, people who attempt to enhance their sense of power and control by beating up on spouses, children, and the elderly—but they are not often murderers.
Just as your life is organized around the desire to be close to other people, a sociopathic life is organized around a need to control, frighten, and elicit obedience. To accomplish this is to “win,” and, for the loveless mind, winning is all there is.