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Feelings
If someone has only themself their whole life, on-guard against everyone aside from themself at all times and all places, never being close to anyone, never feeling anything for anyone, only loving themself… wouldn’t that be miserable? Being a bad guy… is too painful.
I spent most of my life drifting… never really knowing who I was, or what I was meant to be.
‘If you gaze into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.’ I don’t know whether you’ve had that feeling. Sometimes I feel like I have a mental disorder and living is pointless.
Anyone relates
So I suppose I am able to care about things… They’re just not things that will help me in any real way. In fact, it seems like the things I care about are things that will ultimately fuck me over.
It’s a great spot to be in.
Time went by but ıt didn't pass
The devastation of it all is weighing on my shoulders. I can barely carry it anymore…
This terrible, awful truth I hold is so very exhausting.
Whether I feel different or not, it doesn’t matter. I can run from every person, every place that reminds me of my past, but it’s still always there.
Distraction, denial, avoidance… they don’t work.
Because I’m still broken inside, and nobody fucking cares.