Moritz, it can’t be healthy to let pain build up until you want to plug in blenders. If you don’t feel things as they happen, those things creep up on you like a rash, and then you can’t breathe, and you just want to clutch your stomach and say, “She’s gone, she’s gone ,” until the words sound like lies. Until you don’t know what you’re saying anymore, or if you’re saying it clearly, or if language can even capture being that alone.