Amanda Lovelace

Üzgünüm,
eğer
senin
hayal ettiğin gibi
bir kız evlat
olamadıysam.
- oysa daima senin göğsünü kabartmak istedim.

when love wants to die, all it has to do is come in search of me.

taşlar ya da sopalar,
asla kıramaz
kemiklerimi.
fakat kelimeler
öylesine kırdı ki beni
tek tek sayılsa da kemiklerimin hepsi
ve
ölecek olsam bile ,
açlığa mahkûm ettim kendimi .

- bir deri bir kemik.

& even oceans
feared the multitudes in me.

i can’t tell
the difference
between
you
&
the dead
of
winter.

a merry-go-round
loop

& i could never
get past the ‘why’—

why why why
why why why

he
told me
i was an
obligation

like
grocery shopping
on an
empty stomach,

but you
told me
i was as
vital

as
that
after-dinner
cigarette

you
could never
have just
one of.